Tuesday, May 15, 2012

News from the salad which is my life:

There's person A. And you are like "wow - THIS!". And you know a bit about person A - for example that she likes you a looooot, too. With person A everything just feels - right. Somehow. Person A tells you "love ya". But you don't know how this "love ya" is meant - is it meant, like a "I love you" is supposed to be meant? You know that Person A is confused - but you don't know if this is because of feelings for YOU or feelings for her ex-partner. Generally you can't get rid of the feeling, that maybe you're just the idiot caressing her heart while she's taking new strength for getting her ex back. Allthough she assured you, that she won't take advantage out of you and your stupid feelings (provided that she's aware of you and your stupid feelings...). You don't know, what this is between you and Person A - but you don't dare to ask. Cause you're afraid to seem impatient, afraid to shove her back, afraid to seem to "wanting-it". So you're sitting helpless in this fissure between friendship and love, not knowing how to get out of it.

Yaaaaah... maybe you'e sitting NOW in front of your Laptop thinking "WTF? Reita's got feelings? Reita CAN be like THAT? Reita can be... SHY?!!!"

Yep. That's exactly what I'm thinking. You know - actually I'm not shy and unconfident. Actually I say what I want and get it. But with person A... everything is complicated and different. And I just don't want to risk everything. So I stay sitting in this fucking gap. 

Cause I just don't know what to do.
I just keep starring at you.

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