Sunday, May 17, 2015

New Reita-Cosplay-Stuff!

I did a small shooting recently. I had the idea to that a very long time ago and finally I was able to realise it. Here is the picture spam:

And a short anouncement because of reasons: for the next blog-entry you'll have to wait min. 2 weeks because I'll be over my Birthday (which is at the end of May) in Dublin! I'll drink a few Guiness' for you, guys ;|). I hope I'll land safely again at home and nothing bad will happen.
♛Տҽҽ վօմ♛

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Gyaruo - really?

Although I'm getting more and more into the secrets of Gyaruo, how the Look should be, which brands and stuff... I'm feeling unsure.
Do you know that feeling, when you look through pictures and think "oh yes, this is SO cool, I just have to get like them and then I'll be SO cool, too"? And then. It happens that you buy a Civarize Jacket. In a size, which would fit you in germany even with three Schnitzel and one Pils in your stomach. And it arrives and - you can wear it, oh yes. But you can't close it and you can't move your arms and you feel betrayed, as if you've bought snowtrousers and they sent you Hotpants.
new Jacket without me
 And with me:
I really think, it looks better without me. It don't fits me at all, I feel like a whale in it. Every inch of fat, which is just me and helps me getting through the hard bavarian winter, looks here like the colossus-abortion of Vicky Pollard. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with my body. I'm not the thinnest but I know that I'll never reach a model-body, no matter how hard I try (apart from that, I've not the time to try harder and to be honest life is too cruel and short to starve). 
One other point is, that I don't feel very comfortable as Gyaruo. I'm unsure about which hairstyles fit me and can't just get going and look where it leads like in Visual Kei. It HAS to be manly, it HAS to be some sort of "tidy" and it's not allowed to look creepy/dark or really strong coloured. I'm always punching my borders when styling my hair for Gyaruo and that's not fun. And it's not fun to have always the same hairstyle on every Gyaruo-Pic.
The same applies for the make-up. I don't like myself without. It's no difference if I'm just very less rouged or without anything. The uglyness-grade is the same. My makeup is my mask since I'm able to hold a mascara. I feel helpless and naked without. I've got nowhere to hide, no place to draw confidence out. I've got no place to give my face personality. MY personality, my personal touch, my business card. My face as Gyaruo is just circle-lensed eyes and nosestripe - that's what I feel. There's nothing I watch in the mirror and think "oh well, that went good, you look very handsome today!". My face just feels like a white wall, I feel invisible and that's what annoys me the most. 
And the overkill-point is, that I just can't dance Parapara. I tried "Night of Fire" - but I've got no chance. I can do all the arm-stuff. But I have to stand on one place or move in my own rythm, because the rythm of the original... just IS NO RYTHM (or I'm deaf). I look so silly, like a one-legged elephant on a string. I tried to learn Gyaruo-Parapara but... I just... I can't even describe, what happened. Fact is, that I closed the video again and stared head-shaking on my video-file. For a long time. And then I sighed, a long and depressed one. The ones you do, when you loused your final math-test after you wrote bad grades all the years since you've got math. I'm no man for such stuff. I can wield a sword, I can drive fast cars, I'm an acceptable boxer, I can carry and lift all the suitcases of my girlfriend no matter if her half wardrobe incl. Laptop is in. But I can NOT dance.
That is all. I'll stay Gyaruo, but my heart will always belong to Visual Kei. I won't ever buy Gyaruo-brand again, I won't try to dance. That's just not me and I hope everybody will accept this, especially my Ladies from Plutonium.
And to close the entry with sth heart-warming now - a picture for my cutest Cutiecute Kyo:
(Bae's away for 12 days)
So that's it for this week, maybe you've got suggestions/inspiring stuff/opinions to all of that - pls feel free to comment by guess and by gosh!

Thursday, May 7, 2015


The last week was horrifying. On Sunday we wanted to celebrate with my best friend in munich and what happens - when I was trying to park in, a car from behind didn't see us and slammed the ass of my car with about 40 - 50 km/h. I just know, that my body just worked somehow, without thoughts, without feelings. I managed everything with the girl which crashed us, but did not call the police and later in the car again I first noticed that my girl somehow was hurt, she claimed to have headache and illness. Although we went to the birthday-celebration, but I still was just working, it felt like some big, white-haired man above controlls me with marionette-strings (this feeling vanished just around wednesday.). From that time, I had barely time to breathe.

✪ Sunday late evening: with my girl in the emergency unit, she had to stay in (concussion, neck-trauma, shoulder-contusion)
✪ Monday morning: visited my doctor, then visited a orthopaedic surgeon - diagnosis whiplash
✪ Monday lunchtime: drove in my village-garage, my car was surveyed by an insurance adjuster
✪ Monday early evening: drove back in hospital, took my girl home with me
✪ Tuesday: talk to my garage-man, the survey report is there - the damage is more than the actual worth of the car, unsure if it's useful to repair and keep my car at all
✪ Wednesday: appointment with the lawyer because of compensation for pain and suffering went good and a phone-cal from my garage-man - it's able to repair and keep my car
✪ Thursday: my brother offered his help for repairing my car (I'm so thankful for that, I can't tell ♥) and my granddad and I screwed off the first parts of the damaged car-ass.
I'm jolly glad that the sky above me is finally getting more friendly from day to day. That crash made me stronger and I learned a lot, which I want to pass down to you (but I honestly hope you'll never need it). Here are my "crash-steps":
1) is somebody injured? If yes, call an ambulance, if no, just call the police (ALWAYS!!!)
2) take on your reflective vest and set up the warning triangle
3) photograph the crash from every angle
4) fill out the european accident report (download-link, print it out and put it in your car!) together with your crash-participant
5) try to stay calm and friendly and keep paying attention on the traffic to stay safe!
My girl and me are feeling better every day and we had blessing in disguise. Most of all this accident showed me, how many ppl worry about me and are there for me to help and I want to thank everybody of you, you were a big help!
Happiness can be found even in the darkest times if one only remembers to turn on the light.”